Chapter 4: The Owners Manual

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Understanding How We are Made

hen I open an owner’s manual for a new car I always have a sense of anticipation, a sense I am about to discover something new and exciting.  The same thing happens when I read the test results about my children.  I am excited to discover something new about my child and understanding how God made them.  I also find out how I should treat them in different situations. 

            What I learn from reading the owner’s manual I can use to operate the car properly, such as when to change the oil, or how to use the cruise control.  I also learn what to avoid, and how to drive in adverse weather conditions. 

With the results from the personality traits tests, I am provided with the detail I need to connect the dots, and give me enough information to give wise guidance to the child.  With this knowledge, I can help them stay clear of situations, which require talents, and strengths that the “owner’s manual” says are not available with this model. If the test results demonstrate the child is a cautious introvert with deliberative and responsibility themes, I would never call on them to speak or pray in a large crowd, or put them on the spot to speak at a public function because they would be petrified.

Through observation and interaction with my children, I have gathered different bits of information about them, but not a clear picture.  The testing process helps me to connect the dots, and it helps develop an understanding of just how my child is made.

Through observation I might determine that the child is an introvert, and know they will not be comfortable as the life of the party.  However, its only through testing that I would discover their cautious tendencies, which leads them to be careful about what they say, and uneasy about making decisions on the spot.  Of course when something goes haywire, I do not start dismantling the automobile, I take it to a professional and get it checked out because the car has a computer, and the professional can use a sophisticated machine to test and diagnose the problem.  If a child is sick, I take him to a doctor who is a professional with sophisticated equipment to diagnose the problem.  For mental health issues, I call my pastor and set up an appointment for counseling for my child.

Giving my child guidance early on in life is something I have a responsibility to do to the best of my ability.  When my child enters his or her senior year in high school, I have the additional responsibility to give him or her guidance in selecting a college, trade school or apprenticeship program that will help train them up “in the way he should go.”  Raising high-octane kids is not an exacting science, so we need assistance, and resources, which empower us to do the best job we can. 

The Right Tools for the Job.

Theresa and I live on a small farm outside San Diego, California. The farm was originally a large olive orchard.  Our nine acres still has the original eighty-year-old farmhouse, and many out buildings and barns typically used to support a farm.  The property had been a dumping spot, and the home was not lived in for years before we purchased it.  Theresa is a farmer at heart, and it has been a lifelong dream of hers to live on a working farm.  Within a few years, we decided to develop a pick-your-own blackberry farm. Blackberries are a weed in some states, but in Southern California they are a rare treat, and a pick your own experience is something parents can bring their kids to and enjoy the experience together.  Because of the size, age, and condition of the farm we expected there would be lots of work. However, we had no idea of just how difficult it would be because we do not own all the tools required to do it right.   We had dreams for our farm, but without the right tools we cannot properly till the ground, plant, manage the vineyard, repair the buildings, and build fences.  We are also missing the knowledge required to properly maintain a vineyard of blackberries.  In its third year, the berries were attacked by a fungus, and suffered a tremendous amount of damage.  It took outside help to find out just what was wrong, and what we needed to do to correct the problems we were facing. We did not have the experience we needed to be successful on our own.

Learning the basics of how God designs people gives parents the tools they need to guide their children.  It is not possible to provide the different tools you need in the context of a book[1] but I can give you the basics of how the tools work, and a general outline of what insights each test provides as a foundation for understanding the rest of this book. 

What you can expect to learn about your child.

            I recommend each member of your family over 16 years old take all three tests.  The test results will be enlightening.  Upon completion you can review your personal results, but you will also want to review all the traits outlined by each test.  Study of these traits will give you insight as to what to look for in your younger children.  Each of the tests serves a specific purpose, and will assist you in spotting tendencies in younger children.

Understanding what the Tests are all about.

      You might feel threatened or inadequate by the idea of developing a profile of your child.  Vergil said,  “They are able because they think they are able.”  If you think you are not capable you will not even try.  But you are capable, the tests, and resources provided in this book give enough information to assist you in the process. Everything you learn in return will equip you in bringing up your child the way they are designed.

There are three tests, which together, provide a shadow or outline of a person’s personality, behavioral traits, and personal strengths and talents.   Humans are much too complex to think any testing or evaluation process will uncover all there is to know about a person; surely God has made us “fearfully and wonderfully.”  It is part of our humanity, and explains the tremendous variation in people.  After all, I am living proof a man can live his entire life with a woman, and never figure her out (God indeed has a since of humor). 

Each test has its own purpose and provides unique insights into just how God designed our children, and what he made them for.  Once we understand more about how God has made our children, we can begin to understand what His will is in their lives, what they will excel at, and even more importantly, how they will bring glory to Him.

            The differences between the tests may seem subtle at first, especially between the DiSC Classic Profile^®, and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^®, but they are very different in how they are administered, and what they are attempting to achieve. 

            The DiSC Classic Profile^® describes behavior based on how people view themselves in their various environments.  The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^® describes how people approach their environment intellectually, and attitudinally, and how they process information.[2] 

            The Clifton StrengthsFinder^® assessment evaluates what talents (intellectual ability) and strengths (an asset of special worth or utility) a person is gifted with.  It helps us understand what we are good at instead of how we behave. 

General Description of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^®

      The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^®, will assist you in planning for growth or change by helping you develop self-awareness.  The test is intended to give you the information you need for getting along with others more effectively, and identify the source of relationship problems (through skilled counseling) by highlighting innate tendencies, preferences, and motivations.  There are sixteen types of personality possibilities based on four pairs of letters.

Summary of Personality Types[3].

Extrovert verses Introvert (E or I Types).  Extroverts look to the world around them to get cues, and find things, which will help them understand how they should respond to it. Introverts will look more for self-directed activities to satisfy themselves when they're unsure of the rewards available from the environment.

Sensing/Intuiting (S or N Types).  Sensing means a person receives information from facts, and things they can touch and feel.  Intuiting, on the other hand means a person will seek imaginative possibilities and perceived interrelationships.

Thinking/Feeling (T or F Types).  Thinking means a person will evaluate information based on impersonal analysis and logic, as opposed to Feeling people who evaluate information based on personal values and group goals.

Perceiving/Judging (P or J Types).  This part of the test measures people's attitude toward the world.  Perceiving means a person is usually more open, curious, interested, and ultimately adaptable.  Judging people are more organized, purposeful, logical and decisive about the world.

General Description of the DiSC Classic Profile^®.

The DiSC Classic Profile^® measures characteristic ways of behaving in a particular environment, and does not describe characteristics that are not easily observed.  The test is scored by assigned numbers.  Higher numbers indicate how intensely people react to a perceived relationship. 

The DiSC Classic Profile^® helps you to spot helpful behavioral strategies for dealing with a particular environment (point of view).  The test will help you sort out human emotions by relating how you perceive yourself in relation to the world around you, and how you will behave in response. Here is a summary of how the test breaks down personal traits.

Dominance is the factor of directness, assertiveness, and control

Influence is associated with a sunny, friendly, and extrovert approach, warm, and open to other people, sociable, and gregarious.

Steadiness describes those who show a high level of steadiness take a measured, steady approach to life.

Conscientiousness represents a combination of control and passivity. It is the factor of structure, detail, and fact, and describes people interested in precision and accuracy.

Clifton StrengthsFinder^® Test.

The Internet-based Clifton StrengthsFinder^® Profile is the product of a 25-year, multi-million dollar effort to identify the most prevalent human strengths.  The program introduces 34 dominant "themes" with millions of possible combinations and reveals how they can best be translated into personal and career success. In developing this program, Gallup has conducted psychological profiles with more than two million individuals to help you learn how to focus and perfect these themes.[4]

            When I was a child we had a medical encyclopedia that had transparent fold over pages.  The first page had a skeleton depicting the major bones in the human body.  The next slide showed the human organs, and next was the muscles in the body.   As the reader folded pages one over the other, he began getting a more complete understanding of how the human body is made.   Each page helped you understand how a particular system was constructed. However you could not get a complete picture of how the body functioned as a whole until you folded all the other slides over.

In the same way, when the results of all three tests are examined as a whole, they paint a revealing picture or personal profile, much like each progressive transparency in the medical book.  The DiSC Classic Profile^® describes how people view themselves.  The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^® describes how people approach the world, and process information,[5] and the Clifton StrengthsFinder^® assessment evaluates what talents or strengths a person is gifted with.

My wife Theresa and I first took the tests at a ministry assessment center.  The results were fascinating for both of us. For years I had labeled Theresa as a worrywart because she will not let anything go.  She frets about every little detail, is bothered about so many things, and is slow to make a decision.  As it turns out the testing enlightened us both as to why. 

Theresa’s Clifton StrengthsFinder^® results reveal she has “Deliberative,” and “Responsibility.”  “Deliberative” is a wonderful strength which explains why some people are so proficient at decision-making.  People with this strength look at all the angles, and anticipate the obstacles before they commit themselves to a decision.  People with “Responsibility” will take personal ownership of a decision; to them it is a serious commitment, and they will see it through no matter what. 

Her DiSC Classic Profile^® revealed she is “Cautious,” a critical thinker who weights all the pros and cons of each decision.  Her “Steady” score is also quite high, people with Steady profile are loyal and supportive to others, wanting to help in any way they can. 

Her Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^® is “ISFJ.”  She draws strength from within, senses what is real around her, tests what effect decisions will have on others, and will get all the questions answered if possible.

You can see why she would appear to be a worrywart.  In reality she is a great decision-maker, able to separate the real issues, and make good decisions in support of, and for the betterment of our marriage.  When I understood just how valuable these traits are, (as the tests revealed them) I no longer view her as an obstacle to moving forward, but as an indispensable voice in every decision we make.  Theresa looks at her attitude toward decision making with a new freshness, looking forward to strengthening her talents in ways, which will help our family.  What a wonderful revelation we have been given. After all these years of marriage we both see new and exciting potential within each other.  Now I bounce everything off Theresa, not to keep her from worry, but to bring solid decision making skills to bear on any issue we face.  Just think of what we have been missing all these years.  What arguments, mistakes, and frustrations might we have avoided if we would have known more about how God designed us?

It is interesting to note that it did not take a therapy session to figure out how Theresa is designed. She took the tests and we read the results.  Not only were the results easy to understand, the corrective action we took in our relationship was common sense.

My results were equally revealing.  Over the years I have started one business after the other, so many that I lost count around eight or ten.  I was beginning to believe I would never be happy.  Within a year or so of the startup of a company (usually in the software development business) I began to lose interest, regardless of the success or failure of the business.  I became very introspective analyzing every move, attempting to be more persistent, and stable in each business.  The pattern was always the same, come up with a great idea, look at the market potential, develop a business plan, and go for it.  The first year was always exciting and full of new learning experiences. After I developed my ideas and learned how everything worked, I lost interest and started looking for new ideas to inject into a brand new business.  This is a disastrous way to build a business.  One of my companies had seven distinct lines of markets and products.

My results tell it all.  My Clifton StrengthsFinder’s^® assessment reveals that I have “Ideation” as my number one strength.  People with Ideation are fascinated by ideas and have the ability to see how things might seem disconnected fit together.  My second strength is “Learner” which is the desire to learn, not for any particular outcome, but just to learn.  I also have “Strategic” and “Input.”  Strategic is the ability to spot patterns and create alternate ways to proceed. Input is the collection of information or things, not necessarily for use, but just to know or have.  My Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^® is ENTJ, often described as a “Field Marshall”, decisive, direct, and fearless.  The DiSC Classic Profile^® reveals I am “Dominate” and an “Influencer” which the test describes as a “Front Runner”.

After reading just a summary of my profile, you can easily see why I love to come up with product ideas and start new businesses.  I love to brainstorm ideas, learn what is necessary to make an idea fly, learn the market, strategize the product development, and move on to the next idea.  Not the perfect formula for long term success in a business, but a great formula for exercising how I have been designed.

My personality is to take charge and develop lots of action (George Patton had my personality) however my strengths are all thinking themes.  I need to get paid for ideas, strategies and what I can do with information.  This book, and the training seminars are a direct result of applying what Theresa and I have learned about our personal profiles. Now both Theresa and I know what to watch for in the road ahead, how to stay within ourselves and we are more equipped to fulfill our purpose.

What potholes in life can you help your child avoid?  Where are the bumps and wrong turns in the road need to be avoided?  What is the right course to plot for your child and your family?  It is not as difficult as you might think, and the potential hazards you might avoid are worth reading about, and spending some time learning to develop your child’s (and your) profile.

Write down what you would like to know about your child, your spouse and yourself.